slowwwww mile

I really really didn't want to run today and tried to think up every single excuse not to go outside but in the end, I dragged my butt to the road.

Most of the reason I ended up going was that I went to my favorite clothing store this afternoon for a little shopping. I rarely buy new clothes but I almost always find something there that I like. There's nothing like trying on clothes that would have fit you 4 months ago and realizing you're like a sausage in its casing.

Tragedy.

Wanted: Motivation to Make it Through the Winter

Needless to say, I haven't been very motivated these last few weeks. I can rattle off excuses about how much I've been working (16 hours straight on Christmas, YAY!) or my health (2, count 'em, 2 kidney stones say that my body got confused by meat and wants to go veg again) but in the end, they're all justifications for slacking off.

It's not really all that hard to stop by the gym on the way home from work. Yes I hate the gym. Yes I hate treadmills. Yes I would much rather be smoking half a pack over a giant beer and a shepherd's pie the size of my head. But it is far easier to give up than to keep pushing myself that next mile or seeing how much I can improve my 5k time, and I'll never be accused of taking the easy way out.

1.61

I actually made it through 4 minutes and really didn't think about walking at any point. I took water with me this time and I think it made all the difference. That and the fact that I avoided running any of the uphill slants in the neighbourhood. I didn't check my time every 5 seconds either, which for me is a pretty huge deal. I still hate being slow but I can say that my average pace went down about a minute from the last time I ran. I took a look at my stats on the Nike+ website and I'm continually improving. My mileage is getting higher and my avg pace is getting lower every week. I know I'll hit the wall soon but hopefully looking at things like this will help me get through it.

1.03

As I finished work and walked to my car, I thought about how much I didn't want to run tonight. The biggest reason being I was absolutely exhausted. I was toying with the idea of skipping tonight or just taking the dog for a slow walk when I got a message from one of my friends saying she had posted some pictures from a wedding I attended as a bridesmaid. 

Have you ever seen a picture of yourself where your heart stopped because you had NO idea you really looked like that? I'm not one to hate on my body, I'm all about body confidence, but that's probably because I used to look halfway decent. When did I get a double chin? A HUGE double chin? When did my upper arms start to look like mattress stuffing? I don't think I've ever been this big in my life. It really shocked me. I was a little sad, too. It seems like a monumental task to get in shape. I was feeling a little discouraged and then I thought that, really, I can only take one step at a time. Literally and figuratively. So I took a step out of the door, a step into the road, a step down the street, and before I knew it I had finished my run for today. 

One step at a time.